COVID 19 transformation. Part 1.
Updated: Apr 24
I would like to start my writing journey with my transformation story. I believe I am not the only one who ended up with the insights and life-changing resolutions and actions after the lockdown due to the pandemic. It looks like the humankind needed this shake to wake up and become authentic with their lives. Some people lost their loved ones, some lost their jobs, others broke up with their spouses. On the other hand and on the other side of the coin, there are people who found themselves, changed their lives completely, changed the people surrounding them to match their real values and their life mission.
... I was one of those on the other hand. I promised myself to be completely honest in my writing, as the point where I was able to get myself to, would be not achievable without the truth of other people sharing their experiences. The truth is particularly valuable now - in the world of ideal silhouettes from the social media.
My transformation journey started from ... an alcohol abuse. It lasted for about a month after the lockdown started. I found myself at the point that I am drinking every day and a little more than “recommended” to the point that I am able to fall asleep. I honestly felt like an alcoholic and I also felt that something was going wrong with my life. There were lots of events and decisions that brought me to this point.
First of all, I chose to be in a relationship with a person who considered drinking every day after work and drink more on weekends as normal, which is fine but it was contradictory to my personal values at the very beginning. The reason to make such a choice was an attempt to run from myself and dive into relationship so that I don't see how unsatisfied I am with me and my life. Besides, the alcohol can help to forget yourself.
Second, I was absolutely disconnected from my business and felt unhappy, stressed and burned out. Just recently i found out that the term "burnout" became trendy nowadays and when I read the meaning I found myself in 100% match with it at that point of time.
Finally, I was influenced by the mass media negativity and the apocalypse predictions. I was hooked to the stats website with the increasing cases of COVID every minute all over the world.
Today I don’t drink at all, by choice. I didn’t have an addiction, I just had a bad habit and an inefficient stress management tool. I can drink if I want to but I don’t want as I have so many other things that make my life happy and meaningful and I consider all the drugs to be “a fake happiness“.
What happened next, I will reveal in my next post.