COVID 19 transformation. Part 2.
Updated: Mar 4, 2021
One day I realized I can't live like this any more, it is not me and I want to get back and find myself again. I started the process from the thought that I can't change anyone or anything but myself. I am only in control of my mind and my actions.
My mind was wandering 24/7 that my boyfriend doesn't make good choices and he is not the right person to be around, but I have feelings and attachment towards him that stop me from getting out of the relationships. So all my energy was flushed away by these thoughts for more than a year until the above mentioned day came and I said: " I will be working on myself, improving my life, my body and my mind. I am not ready to make any decisions yet but I know that everything around will become in order to reflect my inner change".
I started with going back to regular exercising. I focused on getting the image of my body in the mirror improved. I quitted drinking on a regular basis. These two activities never matched for me. I started moving more, walking 10000 steps a day, doing online highly intensive trainings 1-2 times a day.
I became addicted to sports because I was getting my energy back. At some point, I felt like I am 10 years younger, I have energy to play with my son, I always want to go somewhere and see something new. Just recently I overcame depression and low energy. I used to have a belief that this is just how an adult life looks like: you are working and then you are exhausted and have no energy for any other activities.
Then I added dieting. I experimented with low carb diets but ended up with choosing a balanced diet but with more nutritional foods that I learned about while dieting.
My body image looked much better and I started falling in love with myself again.
Now it was the time for me to work on my mind part. Intuitively, I started with cleaning and organizing my home. I would find out later that it was the beginning of the mind work. Although, it was a big challenge for me as I have been messy all my life and it was normal for me to be always in my head without noticing the mess around me. My parents always cleaned after me and let me study, do more activities so at the age of 15 I started saying that I never had to learn this skill, since I was going to have a housekeeper when I got older.
However, at COVID time I had no other choice but to learn to do it myself as I came to the point that the mess influences my productivity.